Nancy Miller Going all in

Going all in. We were visiting my aunt and attended Sunday service with her. The pastor used this phrase in his sermon. It struck me at the time that this is where I am in my life. I have been a follower of Christ for the majority of my life and have always followed His leading. This, however, seems different. Leaving the security of a job that I have had for twenty years, leaving my family and friends, my church, everything that is familiar to me, to move halfway around the world to work in a coffee shop? Without exception, everyone I have shared this with has been completely surprised. As was I! I never anticipated that, at this time in my life, I would be preparing to head to Poland to work in a coffee shop as a missionary. So what do you do when you feel the Holy Spirit speaking to you and calling you to go? I did have questions. Are you sure? Do you have the right person? Are you aware of what is going on in the world? What about all of my obligations? To each, the reply was, “Now is your time., and I will take care of everything.” I know that God knows all about me and that He is fully aware of everything that is going on, not only in my life but in the world as well. I still had to ask! So, I began the process, first filling out an application, then some homework assignments, and then receiving an invitation to attend a training program. During all of this, I still intended to continue my medical practice but in a different country. In my exit interview I was asked to describe what my dream job would be. My response was to work in a coffee shop and serve coffee and pastries. To my surprise, I was told that there are actually two that are operated by the Church of the Nazarene. So then came the question: did I want to continue on as a PA or totally change? After praying and discussing it with my pastor, the answer became clear: move on. I did not know, when I answered that question in the exit interview, that I would be burnt out in the coming months, but God knew. So I committed to serving a year in Poland. It seemed that as soon as I made the commitment, everything started to go sideways.

I definitely like to feel that I am in control. Yes, I know that God is in control, and it seems that He wanted to remind me of this. You see, all of the things that I thought I was holding in my hands were actually in God’s hands. I had nothing in mine. I realized that either here or somewhere else, I can not change the circumstances nor the outcomes of any of the events or people that I feel responsible for. Maybe it’s easy to get self reliant and perhaps God in His way is teaching me to rely more on Him then in my own abilities..

I have always been a private person, and I never really considered that I was an introvert until they made me take the test! Turns out I am! So you will understand when I say sharing on a public platform is very difficult for me. As I have been told by several people, I need to be able to share my experiences with family and friends. This blog will hopefully accomplish that. I am as far out of my comfort zone as I have ever been in my life! I keep telling my family it is like the time we went zip lining and had to step backward off the platform. Not an easy thing to do—step off into nothing and trust the rope would hold you! I know that my connection to God is solid. He has certainly brought me through some very difficult moments, and I have every confidence He will enable me to meet this new challenge! So I will share as much of my journey as I can with you all. Please keep me in your prayers and feel free to reach out to me!